King Zelensky was losing the war and had lost his army, so he was throwing young men into the war's frontline, hiring foreign mercenaries, getting stealth NATO soldiers especially from Poland, but it wasn't enough. The Russian military was preparing for a massive wave that once complete would really decimate what was left of pro-Western Ukraine.
So, he had a brilliant idea, and would put forth a proclamation that whoever wins him the war would get a reward! A very nice reward!
One man, a pirate, heard about the offer, and he was known as the Pirate Captain of the Sunflower Seas and his First Mate was obviously a Goat! He had been going to Ukraine for many years, attempting to get booty! And yes, I mean that in more ways than one. He was searching for the beautiful booty of a beautiful lass!
So, he went to see Zelensky and negotiate.
Zelensky sat on his throne and said "I heard you can win me this war?"
The Pirate Captain replied with complete confidence and hubris "I be sailing thee sunflower seas for many years! Ye not find yeself a better pirate than I! Ye also have no Navy. I be sailing my ship on land!"
Zelensky replied with curiosity and intrigue "A ship that sails on land?"
Captain replied "Aye, it be my own design and amphibious. Both land and sea!"
King Zelensky asked "And my offer of five million dollars?"
Captain said "It not be enough! I need booty!"
Zelensky asked "My five million dollar offer isn't enough booty?"
"Of course not, I need two bountiful booties of two beautiful bonnie lasses added to my prize!"
Zelensky replied "Consider it done! You'll have the money and two bountiful booties of two beautiful bonnie lasses!
And so, the motley Pirate Captain set Sail and embarked on his journey.
He happened to see a curious man. A man that looked like a Sheepdog? Was it a real furry man? He stopped to talk to this poor, pathetic, and miserable wretch!
Sheepdog said "I wasn't always like this. I was cursed by a Gypsy. I said that she looked like a shriveled rotten old prune compared to my sexy sugar."
He continued "She told me: Until I find the true meanings of decency, love, and respect, that I will be cursed to be a Sheepdog, and thus, I am now a Sheepdog."
Pirate Captain replied "You Old Dog! What will you do now? Are you use to it?"
Sheepdog replied "I miss being human, but I have to say, my extrasensitive nose is really useful and I now have a bigger dick and it's a knotted! I feel young again and I enjoy having perverted sex with sluts because they enjoy my Sheepdog dick too!"
Pirate Captain said "Ye be a mighty proud pervert! What say ye, ye perverted Old Dog, to joinin' me crew and scouting with ye extrasensitive nose? Think ye up to smelling gunpowder and landmines? Ye also be getting yeself a reward from thee King!"
Sheepdog shouted "Yes! A reward! And I smell everything! I can even smell the scents of human females ready to mate!"
However, the Gypsy also said "Sheepdog, you can also break your spell by surviving certain death!" but Sheepdog forgot all about that part.
The Pirate Captain eventually came across a triage camp operated by foreign volunteers. He decided to stop and see if they had any drinks or food, or to see any Bonnie Lasses.
What they did encounter was a unique sight! A foreign volunteer doctor who looked like a mouse or a rat. What a truly curious sight! First a Canine and now a Rodent!
The Rodent was shouting orders to other doctors and nurses, under his command.
He told Captain that he had been cursed by a Gypsy after insulting a guy who proclaimed himself the Visionary Philosopher King know as @Tsar, and as such, the Gypsy, who was allied with this King, had turned him into a Mouse-Rat.
Captain invited this dreary downtrodden dirty disgraceful degradation of a Doctor to be his medic in exchange for a reward King Zelensky and of course, the degenerate Doctor accepted the invitation.
They continued and were nearing the front line. NATO and King Zelensky were eagerly awaiting to discover how powerful this new wave would be, and the Pirate Captain would soon discover it, or so they thought...
The First Mate, the Goat, began to scream!
It looked up at the sky and saw a powerful fleet, maybe more like an armada, of imperial looking airships!
Of course, they were sent by the Visionary Philosopher King @Tsar who was now powerful enough to be a non-state actor and directly intervene in geopolitics, and unlike Elon Musk, @Tsar was actively intervening in War, and intended to topple the regime of a NATO-ally and US-Satellite State! Tsar winked and was laughing because he knew he would be victorious.
The airships dropped a bomb on the Pirate Captain's ship.
The airships dispersed, annihilating the pro-West resistance to the Russian Army's advance, and soon, Kiev fell. The Pirate Captain, the Goat, and motley crew of cursed bastards destroyed Zelensky's getaway helicopter as revenge for the Pirate Captain losing his ship for nothing.
The Russian Army executed Zelensky and the Zelensky Regime.
Queen Ursala of the Atlanticist Dominion, wept tears, for all the work to advance America's goals were in vain.
General Stoltenberg announced that yes, the war was over, but there would be extreme consequences for whoever was responsible for giving Russia an instant victory and countermeasures would be taken to try to prevent it from ever happening again!
President Biden declared that sanctions would be placed upon @Tsar and possibly criminal charges for actively sabotaging and destroying American geopolitical objectives.
However, such a thing was ominous for the future and the world.
@Tsar was not a man to be trifled with and soon...another prophecy would be fulfilled.
The Prophecy about a non-state actor annihilating the world much like how the Targaryens on Game of Thrones would use dragons to Annihilate their enemies and seize the Seven Kingdoms, the actions of the American Regime, would unknowingly "Awaken the Dragon" and the Visionary Philosopher King would unite the Seven Continents under his absolute authority and reign supreme... however, that's a story for another day.
