The reason why I don't approach American women

[OTB]

I have to get this off my chest. I'm sick of being the one who's always looking at girls and giving them attention. I don't try to hide my attraction for a woman. I like to flirt and make eye contact but girls here are so closed off I'm not even motivated to approach any of them anymore. I'm sick of the don't invade my space or don't approach me attitude. Or the feeling that you don't want to make it look like you're staring at them. It pisses me off how people make it seem like it's so easy to find someone in this country. I've just come to a point where I have no energy to even try and have a normal flirtatious interaction. It seems like they just like the attention. Another thing that pisses me off is how dating and trying to find a woman has become such a task rather than something normal and enjoyable. Women put up walls for various reasons, play games to see to if they can get attention from men and suck at flirting because if they do then they're easy or they seem desperate or whatever else keeps them from loosening up and just relaxing. I feel demotivated because I feel that invisible barrier that they put up. I always say I keep my options opened but this has gotten way out of hand and I'm sick of it. I don't lack confidence when it comes to women but trying to be a man here anymore is almost like a crime. Women seem to flock more to faggots than to a grown, masculine man who desires to be with them. They seem more relaxed around faggots than a grown man. I see it at work. As someone I know said, they don't feel threatened by a homo. But you do with a masculine man? I don't get it. It's just not normal. Seeing something you like and knowing you want to approach her but you keep your distance because they're putting up a shield is unnatural. I didn't go through this meeting women in my travels. It just sucks that I can't just up and leave. Money holds me back.

[Fenix]

I don't talk to any American women anymore besides my best friend. I only talk to foreign women. I am talking to women from Bulgaria, Japan, France, Russia, Denmark, Sweden, Canada and the UK right now. American women are not worth my time, keystrokes or attention.

[jamesbond]

I have to get this off my chest. I'm sick of being the one who's always looking at girls and giving them attention. I don't try to hide my attraction for a woman. I like to flirt and make eye contact but girls here are so closed off I'm not even motivated to approach any of them anymore. I'm sick of the don't invade my space or don't approach me attitude. Or the feeling that you don't want to make it look like you're staring at them. It pisses me off how people make it seem like it's so easy to find someone in this country. I've just come to a point where I have no energy to even try and have a normal flirtatious interaction. It seems like they just like the attention. Another thing that pisses me off is how dating and trying to find a woman has become such a task rather than something normal and enjoyable. Women put up walls for various reasons, play games to see to if they can get attention from men and suck at flirting because if they do then they're easy or they seem desperate or whatever else keeps them from loosening up and just relaxing. I feel demotivated because I feel that invisible barrier that they put up. I always say I keep my options opened but this has gotten way out of hand and I'm sick of it. I don't lack confidence when it comes to women but trying to be a man here anymore is almost like a crime.

I think a lot of guys feel the same way you do. Trying to meet women in America is like trying to decipher Egyptian hieroglyphics. Can't wait to start traveling overseas, just need to save more money.

[Falcon]

Trying to meet women in America is like trying to decipher Egyptian hieroglyphics.

Women put up walls for various reasons, play games to see to if they can get attention from men and suck at flirting because if they do then they're easy or they seem desperate or whatever else keeps them from loosening up and just relaxing.

Right on. It only gets worse once you actually get to know them. Here in my university, recently a female friend of mine told me she was going to dinner with a guy who evidently likes her. She said she wanted the whole episode to be over with quickly because she said it's going to be "awkward." Then she asked me what excuses she should make up so that she could leave early (Roommate's birthday party? Have to meet up with a friend at a certain time to study?). And what if something "creepy" starts to happen: if the guy tries to show physical signs of affection (light pat, hugging), what excuses should she try to make ("I have a cold")? I tried my best to convince her to just be HONEST, but she wouldn't take my advice. She then made up her mind to use the "I have to study" excuse instead.

After the dinner, she said everything went fine although the dinner was "awkward" (now come on, it's not anyone else's fault that you perceived it to be "awkward!"). The "I have to study" excuse also worked perfectly fine. ... Seriously, American women use the two words "awkward" and "creepy" way too often.

And oh yeah, she's Filipina American.

[Falcon]

More stories

I'm lucky to have a lot of wonderfully friend-zoned female friends here in the US, and they give me invaluable insights into how they view the dating game and how they perceive men (obviously, I'm a harmless dork who's already taken by a foreign girl, so they feel comfortable around me as a friend ). I can tell you for sure that their mentalities are messed up (though not for all of them). Even many American guys have messed up mentalities too, such as having overly high expectations of women.

So once I was with some Asian-American college girls (Korean, Chinese, Viet), and they were talking about people getting married in college, and how they want to be just like them. "Oh, I've always thought that I'm going to get married before 22." So they rambled on and on about their unrealistic expectations of having their own jobs, homes, and families. One of them said, "Then go talk to some guys! You should start meeting some if you want to get married." The other girl said she won't. I then asked her why she wouldn't take the initiative. I told them that often guys don't approach girls because the "dating game" is simply too confusing and frustrating for many guys. So she answered, "Well THEY have to ask me out first. I'm not going to be with a guy that's scared to ask out girls." Now ironically, those same girls have talked about certain "creeps" that they've regularly seen on the buses and around campus. Yet they want guys to approach them.

So, they have horribly unrealistic expectations of life in general, and expect men to somehow magically approach them and fulfill all of those unrealistic expectations. No wonder guys wouldn't even approach them in the first place.

Then one of the girls said to me, "Yeah, it's harder for you guys because you have to be richer, like maybe at least some sort of a stable job. I guess for us girls, it's easier because we can always marry up."

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Here's an "Asian guy vs. white guy" mini-film shot on a California college campus. At the end of the video (11:40 - 12:30), the Indian guy says all you need to do is to be more "assertive" and not "pantsy." Honestly, I think that's bull (see above).

[jcris7]

OTB and I had the opportunity to meet in person several weeks back in Beverly Hills. You would think there would be beautiful women left and right, which was true. All of his remarks and observations are spot on. We discussed this exact thing to great lengths, and experienced it for ourselves. Both of us are good looking guys, and we saw some real hotties in the cafe we were in. A majority of them did not give attention when you made eye contact, expressing interest. They look away/down and you can sense the energy and vibe of "you're a creep for looking at me". Very rarely did a woman acknowledge, and even if she did, she didn't stop to talk. We also got a few of the typical AW-gold digging Jewish or Armenian sluts, who wouldn't go near any guy unless he drove a BMW and made at minimum, high 5 figures a year and had access to the upper ends of the social strata.

No wonder so many men feel discouraged, and go insane. If women "demand" that men take the initiative, then why are they ignoring, rejecting or lambasting us for what is hardwired into us as a straight male? So f***ing ass backwards. I call bullshit, and another flagrant double standard thanks to feminism. Women just want to have all the control, and call the shots. That is a recipe for disaster: a dysfunctional dating scene, and social alienation between the sexes.

[Disillusioned_American]

Same observations here. Dealing with - let alone flirting with - most modern american women has become such a wearisome chore for me. It feels so uncomfortable when, from past experiences, you start to sense that you're constantly being sized-up whenever you deal with these women, who always seem to be judging to see if you "measure up" and are worthy enough to even stroke their ego by offering them your attention or some conversation. Time to start looking elsewhere for female companionship; the US is a dead end for me when it comes to romance.

[Enishi]

Even with some of the AWs who are attracted to me, I find that if I try to pry a bit I find that they too have those double standards (guys have to approach me, but omigod not if he's CREEEEPPPPYYYY), and it's a turn off for me.

To be fair, I can't say that I don't have emotional double standards myself, but I try to be aware of them and catch them before I act on them.

[Grunt]

Guys need to familiaize themselves with the concept of the "Banana".

That is, yellow on the outside, white on the inside.

Side note, if a man steals your woman, the best revenge is to let him keep her.

[OTB]

@jcris7

If women "demand" that men take the initiative, then why are they ignoring, rejecting or lambasting us for what is hardwired into us as a straight male?

EXACTLY!!! I think the same thing. If you want me to approach you like a man then give subtle signals like a woman should do if you're interested. They can still project a classy demeanor by showing signs of interest. All a woman has to do is make some eye contact and smile or "smile" with her eyes in an obvious but subtle way and boom it's time to make a move. Attraction has to be mutual. If I'm giving signs of interest and making it obvious that I'm interested then reciprocate it back if you are and the normal process of a man and a woman meeting begins. It's not rocket science. It's something that is instinctual but has withered away within this country due to a number of reasons; men are seen as a potential threat, women don't trust men, they don't feel comfortable talking to strangers, he may be up to something, etc.

That is a recipe for disaster: a dysfunctional dating scene, and social alienation between the sexes.

Jcris you hit the nail on the head with that statement. That pretty much sums up the dating scene in the US.

But it was a pleasure meeting Jcris. He's a very intelligent guy and we instantly understood each others frustrations and thoughts concerning the dating scene in the US. We're two different guys from opposite ends of the country who are feeling the same way. Having the opportunity to meet and exchange thoughts about this topic was therapeutic. We had the chance to observe some things about women that made the social alienation that he mentioned clearly evident.

[Guyver]

I'm with you guys on this subject. Trying to approach and talk to an AW is about as much fun as trying to become friends with a cornered porcupine. Unless if you are a well known celebrity, gay, another woman, or rich, then she will think we are some kind of monsters that wants to do bad things to her. American women are way too paranoid no thanks to feminism and the media. I mean all I want to do is spend a couple of minutes and get to know her before asking for her number. Oh and if you do manage to plow through the bullshit she feeds you and you manage to have a conversation, good luck trying to get her REAL number at the end. You try to call her later on and hairy Bubba answers the phone. I guess the date is canceled.

[ssjparris]

I'm with you guys on this subject. Trying to approach and talk to an AW is about as much fun as trying to become friends with a cornered porcupine. Unless if you are a well known celebrity, gay, another woman, or rich, then she will think we are some kind of monsters that wants to do bad things to her. American women are way too paranoid no thanks to feminism and the media. I mean all I want to do is spend a couple of minutes and get to know her before asking for her number. Oh and if you do manage to plow through the bullshit she feeds you and you manage to have a conversation, good luck trying to get her REAL number at the end. You try to call her later on and hairy Bubba answers the phone. I guess the date is canceled.

hahahahahahaha....EXACTLY MAN !!!. they are so so damn paranoid it is for real.

and YES YES ABSOLUTELY....american woman are very NICE to gay guys, other women, celebrities and rich guys. But if he is a straight man that wants to meet her, then he is dangerous, creepy, and she should hate and disdain him for pursuing relationship, friendship or even sex. GOOOOTTTT DAMNNNN They are so so f***ed up.

[Banano]

This world is made for rich or/and beautifull people

Average working class man who lives from paycheck to paycheck doesnt quite cut it,


its all dead on what you guys are saying, its simply not fun to try to seduce them when they assume the worst in you from the moment they see you as a result you have to go to extreme lenghts to hide your intentions like it is a sin to have desires...makes the whole process unnatral. What happened to women form 50s 60s when they used to blush and have happy innocent face? Now they all look like depressed angry and jaded women, even the young ones
Have you ever wondered about how dating will look like 50- 100 years from now? I feel sorry for future generations of males

[mac9]

there is a huge sickness in north america called materialism, and one of the symptoms is women behaving like they're luxuries, and they see you and think "if you want this piece of ass, you better have your shit together"

run for your lives !!!

[jamesbond]

I'm with you guys on this subject. Trying to approach and talk to an AW is about as much fun as trying to become friends with a cornered porcupine. American women are way too paranoid no thanks to feminism and the media. I mean all I want to do is spend a couple of minutes and get to know her before asking for her number. Oh and if you do manage to plow through the bullshit she feeds you and you manage to have a conversation, good luck trying to get her REAL number at the end. You try to call her later on and hairy Bubba answers the phone. I guess the date is canceled.

How true! Winston said he approached thousands of girls in the US and hardly got any numbers. When he did manage to get some numbers, most of the time it was either a fake number or the girl never answered her phone or never returned his phone call.

If your a rich celebrity, then you can easily meet women in the US. Other than that, you either meet through friends or you are shit out of luck!