The Charisma Man Syndrome: Why Westerners are Treated Like Alpha Males in China
by: David Carnes
Related Topics: charisma . China . Asia . Japan . women . alpha . male . seduction . dating .
It?s one of the world?s better-kept secrets. I can personally confirm that the phenomenon I am about to describe is almost unknown among North Americans. So if you are reading this in Asia, don?t tell anybody back home?
Guys, if you go anywhere in Asia except for Hong Kong, you might as well have a leather jacket issued to you as soon as you step off the plane, because you are the Fonz. Welcome to Alpha Male status. The first thing you will notice are dweeby-looking Western men with calculators in their pockets walking arm-in-arm with Chinese supermodels. These women are girlfriends, not prostitutes. I call it the ?Charisma Man Syndrome?. After a couple of weeks your friends back home are going to start asking why you cancelled your return flight. A couple of decades later they?ll still be asking you the same question.
There are several theories on why this is the case; let?s explore them one by one:
1. Complex historical, sociological and anthropological reasons.
Gimme a break. Actually this was the topic of at least one Ph.D. thesis but hey, we?re not in the ivory tower anymore. Do you really think some Chinese woman ponders the Opium War before she decides whether or not to accept a date request from her British English teacher?
2. They want your money.
It stands to reason doesn?t it? Most Asian countries are poor, and most Western countries aren?t. What blows this theory out of the water is the fact that, if anything, this phenomenon is even worse in Japan, where (relatively) poverty-stricken English teachers date Japanese fashion models that make five times as much as they do.
3. They want a Western passport.
Well, marriage to a Westerner is indeed the quickest, surest route to a Western passport. And more than one Westerner has been left weeping bitterly in the Arrival Lounge when his new Asian wife climbed out the window of the airport Ladies? Room to freedom. But then again there?s the counterexample of affluent Japan, where not all that many local women are seeking Western passports but still flock to Western men. By the way, since Western women are generally not interested in Asian men and since Western men in Asia are usually busy with Asian women, single Western women living in Asia tend to be a lonely lot. And they are NOT happy about it. The ?passport motivation? is their favorite explanation.
4. They want free English lessons
Yeah, but why do they wanna learn English in the first place? So they can talk to Western guys? Plus, my extensive research has shown that accomplished Western Language Nerds who refuse to speak any English in favor of the local language do just as well as (if not better than) starry-eyed Asia Greenies fresh out of the airport.
5. It?s a status symbol in Asia to have a western boyfriend
Yeah, and it?s a status symbol in Spain to have a matador boyfriend. What a lame theory. It begs the question of why having a Western boyfriend became a status symbol in the first place. After all, it?s no status symbol in Australia to have, say, a Bolivian boyfriend. Ah, Madison Avenue?
6. Western guys are better looking
Not some of the ones I see. Then again, it is true that Asia is the only place in the world where I get told I look I look like Brad Pitt ? back in the states I?m more likely to be compared to Pee Wee Herman.
7. The grass is always greener on the other side?
So why aren?t women in the United States clawing each other?s eyes out for a Chinese boyfriend?
8. Asian men are somehow inadequate
As a male, I wouldn?t know about this. But I would be happy to hear from any interested females on this issue.
My next article will be entitled, ?Why Western Women in China Hate Western Men and What You Can Do to Make It Worse?.
David A. Carnes is a California attorney working for California Industrial City in Zhengzhou, China. His website, The World According to Jake Danger, is at http://www.jakedanger.com/2.html
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Demand is generated by Hollywood and Western culture's dominance or popularity (depending on how you want to look at it).
In East Asia the % of local women who strongly desire a foreign spouse is in the minority. But there's millions and millions young unmarried women there and even a small % equates to tens of thousands, if not hundreds of thousands.
The supply of good looking and eligible white male bachelors, on the other hand, is very limited there. Thus, demand exceeds supply. However, most white guys that I've known end up with the first girl who throws herself at him. To say that they're "Chinese super models" would be an over-statement.
Commenting on AM/WF situation in the US, because Asian culture is not dominant or favored in North America, AM's are not as in demand. But statistically speaking, Asian Americans only occupy only a single digit % in the US population. So even a small % of WF's who'd consider dating or marrying AM's would make an impact.
Today approx. 30% of 1.5+ generation Asian American men are married to WF's. But because WM and AF hit the dating scene a lot earlier that AM's, it gives the impression that there's a much higher ratio of AF-WM marriages. This can be observed by the marriage ratio by age group statistic provided by US Census.
Maybe Chinese women expect us to do that, maybe if a Chinese man did all that kind of thing he would rebuffed - I don't know but I rarely see them do it. In my classes, the men all the time sit with each other - you never see a man and a woman sat next to each other unless they're actually dating.
There was once this girl I kinda liked (but she didn't like me ) and she worked in this mall and one day I saw her hug this passing Chinese man - they knew each other by the looks of it - and he just shrugged her off and walked on! It was funny but this the cluelessness that exists in that country regarding EQ - if a Chinese man does do something they consider romantic - it will be something over-the-top like making a heart made out of roses outside their house or buying them something like a solid gold bracelet - it doesn't seem they can find a middle ground in making a woman feel good, it is either over-the-top or they haven't got a clue.
NB: Nothing to do with being 'Alpha' what a Chinese woman considers 'manly' is different to what is considered manly in The West.
I will tell you a story as I have a bit of time to spare, I used to go into the tea shop near our campus where I used to work and they had these really nice girls working there and they were lovely, friendly, kind and very pretty and there was this one where one of our male students took a shine to - this girl was a lovely looking girl and she would work in the afternoon - so the male student would come in around this time in his tank top which showed his impressive physique and just stand there
I would go in and say hello and smile at this young lady and say please/thank you and the rest of it and I would get a big smile off her as she was always very happy to see me but the presence of this other guy who was always there when I went in used to annoy the shit out of her, he was good looking, tall, in excellent shape - muscular and defined - but he had NO idea how to proceed or how to talk to this young lady and all he achieved was that he annoyed her with his presence - he would just go in every day and stand at the corner of the counter cluelessly - it was a shame really because he was probably a nice guy who's heart was in the right place but he didn't know what to do.
Related to this story was one of my work colleagues who was American and he had a massive crush on one of the other girls - she was so LOVELY - she was pretty but she was such a nice, friendly girl (and she had big boobs and a nice ass ) so my mate had a crush on her but he couldn't speak to her because was so shy, if you're going to be shy around a Chinese girl as a westerner then you have lost the one definite thing we have over the millions of shy Chinese guys who have nosebleeds over the women they really like - you gotta go around your business with a bit of verve and a bit of pizpaz - be polite, be friendly, be smiley - make 'em laugh - be a gentleman with a personality - be someone worth knowing - one of 'em will like you (a lot).
The most successful foreigner I have ever known in China with the women was an African-American - he used to make them laugh and he had tons of girlfriends and girls who liked him because he know what to do and how to do it.
Being tall is a huge factor, being in shape, dressing well, smelling nice - they're all big factors but the biggest factor is being polite, friendly and nice and being able to interact with women who you may not have a romantic interest or chance with - I smile and say hello to the ayi cleaning ladies and give them a wave - that always makes their day - if I do it to the beautiful waiteress at the restaurant I go to - it gets the same response because the local fellas never ever do it.
Asian culture tend to be standoffish. So Asian guys would lack social intelligence.
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